CONTEMPLATING THE LEAP OF FAITH
There came a time in my awakening journey when the heart's desires became loud and clear. Conflict occurred when I remembered how I was, as many of us were, steered away from my authenticity in favor of 'basic survival". Keeping our heads down in a cubical at a boring, meaningless job, answering to a boss who is most likely living unconsciously just doesn’t work for those of us with expanded awareness. Parents and caretakers had the best of intentions of wishing us to be "safe" and thus to take the predictable route. But does this lead to happiness? Will that still quiet voice inside finally go away and stop tormenting us? In my experience, it did for awhile, but after my spiritual awakening, it became impossible to ignore. I had to find faith and safety in trusting my own intuition. I simply could not tolerate how things were anymore. So much had to change. My ego self was judging these ideas as 'crazy' and insane. I would imagine that was how Noah felt at first, before building the ark!
Those desires in your hearts were placed there for a reason. They are clues for the carrying-out your life's mission. It is in following your own unique mission where true happiness will surely be experienced. True bliss, true safety. We must first traverse the often uncomfortable dark path of fear and resistance to get there. Hanging out at the edge of the cliff, contemplating your leap of faith, creates an anxiety like no other. I have to admit, I had been hanging out in this place for many months, wrestling with demons, getting beat down by them, and ultimately rising back up stronger. It was in integrating them, accepting them, even loving them, that offered the greatest relief from the intense fear. Exploring all the reasons I was standing in my own way. Reasons my ego was giving for making the process of healing so painful. It was when I made the conscious decision to "breathe with the pain" (very much like childbirth) that I started making progress toward my ideal life. A life where I open my spiritual gifts and share them with complete authenticity and without apology. I didn't know if others even wanted to hear me talk about what I deem to be important in the world. I feared the "haters" and bullies out there who would be threatened by my light and probably try to tear me down (remember junior high school?). But I realize that this kind of behavior from people is simply an indicator to me of their need for love, and their desperate attempt to heal a festering wound. We ought never take their transgressions personally. I also realized that I would attract many, many more who are kindred spirits who would jive with my message and show me this was all worth it. But ultimately, I am finding the space within, where I am neither fulfilled by accolades, or crippled by cruel criticism. We lightworkers are in this reality to channel the Universe through us in a way only each one of us uniquely can, and that carries a lot more weight than what others think of us.
We may look at others who are carrying out similar callings or missions, and think to ourselves, "its already been done". But it hasn't been done in exactly the way that only I can do it. This is key. We may also compare ourselves, or think, "who am I to do that? What makes me an expert in this area?" It is important to realize that we are all at different levels of expertise, with endless points of view, and thus we will attract the right people to us, who will be able and willing to accept and embrace our message. Therefor, there is no competition, as we have been lead to believe. As lightworkers, we belong to the light, which means our mission can only be radiant and just right for us--more amazing than we could ever imagine. We can change LIVES. Ultimately, it is selfish for us NOT to share our authenticity with the world!
So with that, I make the decision to emerge from the "cocoon phase" of my healing process, and start to live as the unique butterfly I was meant to be. Carrying out my mission, walking the talk, integrating the fear, thanking the darkness for the role it had to play in my life, and spreading the colorful wings that were bestowed upon me.
We are at a crossroads in the world. We, as sensitive people can surely feel it in the collective. Systems of control are breaking down. Old paradigms are no longer valid. It is more important than ever we lightworkers get onto the business of shining our light, sharing our Divine gifts and carrying out our callings. The internet is making it easier than ever to connect and do business in a way we have never seen before. The door is open for you dear lightworker. Will you transcend the fear and take the leap?